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This week's pillar: Emotional
You are not stretched too thin. You have been leaving yourself off the list.
Hey, healing heart,
Can I ask you something honest? When was the last time you made a commitment to yourself and actually kept it?
Not a promise about eating better or waking up earlier. Not a resolution. I mean a real commitment. The kind you would never dream of breaking for someone else.
Most of the women I talk to who describe themselves as overwhelmed are not actually doing too much. They are doing an enormous amount, yes, but the real problem is not the volume. It is the distribution. Everything is going out and almost nothing is coming back in, because they are the last person on their own list. Sometimes they are not on the list at all.
We have been taught to read overwhelm as a signal that we are failing. That we need to push harder, organize better, or somehow become more efficient. So we download another planner, restructure our mornings, and promise ourselves that next week will be different.
But what if overwhelm is not a capacity problem at all?
What if it is simply what happens when a woman keeps saying yes to everyone except herself for long enough that her nervous system finally raises its hand and says, "Enough"?
That shift matters because it changes what the solution looks like. If overwhelm is a capacity problem, the answer is to do less. But doing less is not always possible or even what you want. If overwhelm is a self-exclusion problem, the answer is to add yourself back in. That is a very different starting place.
This week's gentle anchor
This week, I want you to try one thing. Not a full self-care overhaul. Just one thing that is entirely, unapologetically for you. Something small enough that you will actually do it. A cup of tea you drink while it is still hot. Ten minutes outside without your phone. A chapter of a book you have been meaning to start.
Put yourself on the list. Not at the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, at least.
Notice how it feels to honor that commitment. Notice what comes up when you try. That noticing is the work. Everything else grows from there.
This week's self-care ritual
The Two Minute Check-In
Once a day this week, before you respond to anyone else, give yourself two minutes first. It does not have to be the same time every day. Just sometime before noon.
Sit somewhere quiet. Place one hand on your chest. Take three slow breaths. Then ask yourself two questions:
How am I actually feeling right now?
What do I need today that I have not given myself yet?
You do not have to act on the answers. Just let yourself hear them. That alone is an act of care.
This ritual works because it interrupts the pattern of putting yourself last before it can fully take hold for the day. Two minutes. One hand on your chest. Three breaths. That is it.
I will be back in your inbox Tuesday and then every Tuesday after. Until then, add yourself to the list and see what happens.
With warmth,
Dee D
Glow & Flow Holistics
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